Crystal over at Biblical Womanhood linked to some letters from Jennie Chancey. One of the authors of 'Passionate Housewives Desperate for God', if you get a chance, you might want to pop over and read, it is excellent. I was greatly encouraged by the first letter where she is talking about routines. I have been working on establishing new routines this year, and it was good for me to be reminded that I need balance in this area of my life as well!
Here are a couple snippets:
AT THIS STAGE, NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT IN YOUR ROUTINE THAN TRAINING THE CHILDREN. The dishes in the sink are not important. The laundry isn't important. The vacuuming isn't important. Having the house spic and span by five o'clock is NOT important if the children are being pushed out of the way or ignored to get it done. I'd say 99% of our frustration with our children comes from the fact that we ourselves are selfish and do not want to set aside our own plans for the day to deal with foolishness. But we must obey God first. He says we are to train our children. The hardest part of the training is in these early years. If you train well right now, you will have an easier time of it as the days, weeks and months go by. This means being willing to drop whatever it is we are doing (phone call, chores, gardening -- anything) and deal with the trouble. This doesn't mean making the children stop bothering us. It means getting to the heart of the matter to show the child she is worshiping a false god (herself and her desires) and confessing to the child (when we are mad about leaving our own stuff) that we have the same problem of worshiping false gods. Address this heart issue and discipline according to the Scripture (using the Bible you've left in a handy place -- and make a sheet of Proverbs and other Scriptures that apply to various sin problems like greed, envy, strife, selfishness, anger, resentment, etc.). Lead the child to repentance, then show the child grace and love and explain how God has accepted the child in Christ -- not based upon the child's own works (thank the Lord He doesn't base His acceptance of us upon our own works!).
None of this can be done in our own strength or without God's grace. If we are trying to do this by our own strength, we will fail. Pray without ceasing throughout the day for grace, but remember that God doesn't wave magic wands and remove our problems. Part of sanctification is God constantly placing us in situations where we will be forced to rely upon His grace instead of upon ourselves. And grace doesn't just drip from Heaven like rain. It comes through the Word, through fellowship with the saints, through the Lord's supper, through worship, praise and prayer. You do not need to go into a "prayer closet" to worship, praise and pray. Do it on your feet. The more you do it, the more of a habit it will become -- a continual breathing out of prayer to the Lord for strength, patience, kindness and peace.
Here are a couple snippets:
AT THIS STAGE, NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT IN YOUR ROUTINE THAN TRAINING THE CHILDREN. The dishes in the sink are not important. The laundry isn't important. The vacuuming isn't important. Having the house spic and span by five o'clock is NOT important if the children are being pushed out of the way or ignored to get it done. I'd say 99% of our frustration with our children comes from the fact that we ourselves are selfish and do not want to set aside our own plans for the day to deal with foolishness. But we must obey God first. He says we are to train our children. The hardest part of the training is in these early years. If you train well right now, you will have an easier time of it as the days, weeks and months go by. This means being willing to drop whatever it is we are doing (phone call, chores, gardening -- anything) and deal with the trouble. This doesn't mean making the children stop bothering us. It means getting to the heart of the matter to show the child she is worshiping a false god (herself and her desires) and confessing to the child (when we are mad about leaving our own stuff) that we have the same problem of worshiping false gods. Address this heart issue and discipline according to the Scripture (using the Bible you've left in a handy place -- and make a sheet of Proverbs and other Scriptures that apply to various sin problems like greed, envy, strife, selfishness, anger, resentment, etc.). Lead the child to repentance, then show the child grace and love and explain how God has accepted the child in Christ -- not based upon the child's own works (thank the Lord He doesn't base His acceptance of us upon our own works!).
None of this can be done in our own strength or without God's grace. If we are trying to do this by our own strength, we will fail. Pray without ceasing throughout the day for grace, but remember that God doesn't wave magic wands and remove our problems. Part of sanctification is God constantly placing us in situations where we will be forced to rely upon His grace instead of upon ourselves. And grace doesn't just drip from Heaven like rain. It comes through the Word, through fellowship with the saints, through the Lord's supper, through worship, praise and prayer. You do not need to go into a "prayer closet" to worship, praise and pray. Do it on your feet. The more you do it, the more of a habit it will become -- a continual breathing out of prayer to the Lord for strength, patience, kindness and peace.
8 comments:
It's an interesting balance you have to find, because if you 'drop all' for the child, it really just teaches the child that it's all about him and he can be more selfish. It teaches them patience when they have to wait for you to finish something up. Yet it's true that we want our children to know they are so much more important than the things we do - and that we would sacrifice for them!
I don't know - but sometimes I do struggle to find this balance! But even when my kids have to wait - they have NO doubts that they are more important! At least I think :)
And Amen to being on your knees!!!
Oh, and I didn't mean to imply that's what Chancey was saying - to not teach them to wait - that's just the battle that I have had with finding balance that her writing made me think about :)
I read that too - she is quite encouraging.
I am almost done with that book too. So good.
lynn, I don't think she means drop all for the child in any way other than to drop it all when your child is in sin and needs to be corrected, I think she is trying to share what importance training them should have. Such as, putting of dealing with children that are not being kind with each other to finish the dishes. I assure you, she is so NOT about the home revolving around the child, quite the contrary actually. In the letters I linked to, she talks quite a bit about involving children in life but not making them the controllers of it. How they can be and ARE such a vital part of our homes.
Wow. I need to read that every hour...
oh wow! did i need this this week. i have really been struggling with ella, whose favorite line when we talk about obeying God, is "but God loves us even when we disobey, right mom?" so she has the grace thing down, but not WHY she needs to obey.
thanks for sharing this.
hmmmmm.......... I feel more challenged and convicted than encouraged. A good thing to pray about and start doing more consistently I think.
This is so good. Our children's training and discipline our one of our first jobs. I have really working on consistency even when I do not feel well and do not want to follow through but when I do it is so good for both of us. How the Lord rewards obediance and gives an abundance of grace and strength when we do not rely on ourselves.
When it comes to work my kids love to help. It might not be perfect but they are learning to serve.
Be encouraged each of us were given our precious children as a gift and for a reason the Lord picked us!!! What a privledge.
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